Tag Archives: Church

Modern, white church building on housing estate

Is church relevant anymore?

My faith is of central importance to my life and it always has been; I don’t know what it’s like not to believe in an all loving God I can turn to at anytime and to be part of a community of fellow believers.

Pew ends with stacks of bibles

Not many years ago, going to church was the thing everyone did on a Sunday, on the day of rest, whole families would attend church together as part of their weekly routine. Society has changed a lot, with shops opening on Sunday and many sporting activities happening on Sundays, there are many reasons why the habitual practice of going to church has changed. But does that mean that church no longer has any relevance?

British culture has changed such that people are encouraged to express their individuality, instead of following what their family has done for generations. People, now more than ever, think about what’s right for them personally, rather than fitting in with what everyone else does.

I see many people for whom religion just isn’t on their agenda, they live their life quite happily and don’t see any reason to show any interest in the church or what they have to offer.

Many people have actively been put off church by the things people do “in the name of religion”. Interpreting the Bible in an unhelpful manner has made people think Christians are judgmental do-gooders who do not welcome difference or anyone who’s struggling.

So we have people who have been hurt by the church and we have people who are indifferent – how is the church relevant to either of these groups of people?

When I was young, I went with my family to church, I thought I was an ok Christian – I didn’t think I was anything special but I moved through life being as good-a-person as I could be and I thought that was ok. I knew I sometimes did things that weren’t great, I might have told a fib here and there but I wasn’t a terrible person.

When I went away to uni, I continued going to church, it was what I’d always done, I saw no reason to stop. But it was here that I woke up to what being a Christian really meant. It suddenly hit me was that I was a serial sinner, I committed sins daily even hourly, but I also learnt that that’s ok, God forgives me even before I sin and when I ask for forgiveness, God’s grace is abundant.

But, why am I talking about is sin?! I hear you ask. I’m not that terrible am I?! I’ve not murdered anyone or stolen anything?! The sorts of sins I commit include being quick to anger, being slow to say sorry, letting my emotions dictate how I react to situations, not being compassionate towards people and judging people before I know their story. At the moment something I’m struggling with is that I’m being quite negative at work, I try not to be, I’m generally a positive person, trying to see silver-linings etc but just now I’m letting a negative situation get the better of me – this is not how God made me to be. Maybe other people wouldn’t call these sins but for me, I find it easier to lump everything together otherwise I get unnecessarily caught in grading or rating the level of “not great” I’m being.

God’s grace through Christ is greater than our sin, even on our worst days - white quote on grey background by Jerry Bridges

For me, it is these things that brings me closer to God, they remind me I am human, they humble me, they remind me I can’t do anything without God’s strength and being mindful of my shortfalls keep me striving to be a better person. Yes, I’m sure there are non-Christians out there who try to be good people but I strive to be more Christ like, the bar is high – I will fail but this does not stop me trying.

Jesus loved the sick, he prioritised spending time with criminals – no matter what sin people had committed, Jesus wanted to love them, to accept them and to bring them into his fold. Absolute unconditional love and compassion is not something many people experience – this is what Jesus has on offer.

I’m not one for writing hard hitting challenging blogs as I’m naturally a people pleaser, I don’t like upsetting people, I like to gently present a idea for people to think about but I feel this subject needs a more direct approach. I ask you this – why do you do anything?

Why do you get up in the morning? To go to work? To put breakfast on the table for your family? Because you feel you should?

So why do you do that? Why do you go to work? Why do you prepare meals for your family? Why do feel you should?

Cup of coffee and a pen on a pile of papers with the question “Why am I here”.

Keep asking “why” until you strip your life back to find what you fundamentally believe the point of your life is. Why are you on this earth? What, ultimately, gives you meaning and purpose?

I believe God has put me on this earth to serve him and other people, I believe I am meant to use the skills God has given me to care for other people, to show them love and compassion, and to improve the quality of their lives.

Most of my blogs are about mental health because illness has dominated my life and I believe by sharing my experience and the things I’ve learnt I might help other people, whether it’s by helping people feel less alone or by educating and raising awareness in order to decrease stigma and discrimination.

The connection between my faith and my mental health recovery is simple – I could not have recovered without my faith. There was a point in my recovery where I had to make a conscious decision to take my illness out of the centre of my life. I decided I did not want it to define me. By removing my illness from the centre, I had to replace it with something, for me, this something was God. Other people may want to fill that hole with family, friends or work but in my experience (as fantastic as they are) these things cannot be as rock solid and reliable as God.

While going through trialing times, such as illness, bereavement or relationship breakdown, we all need people we can rely on. As an introvert, I struggle to make friends and it takes me a long time to open up to people. Some people are fortunate enough to have strong groups of friends either purely socially or via a hobby who they can rely on to be there through thick and thin. But for me, it’s my Church community who offer love and acceptance no matter what I’m going through. I don’t need to blurt out my deepest darkest secrets for people to care, to offer words of comfort or to pray with me.

I have been really fortunate that various music groups that I’ve belonged to have been understanding when I’ve been unwell. For example, for a period of time I could only manage half rehearsals but I was still accepted and my participation (no matter how little or unreliable it was) and my talent was appreciated. But with a social group or hobby, there’s an expectation, some condition on you belonging. This situation here was great but there was some expectation that if I was to come along, I would play the saxophone, at least some of the time!

But church goes the extra mile; there are absolutely no conditions placed on being part of a church. There have been times I’ve gone to church, week after week, sat at the back and not spoken to anyone – this was what I wanted and needed at the time. It’s totally up to the individual how much you take part in the church community.

Looking across rolling hills with mountains in the background and trees and hedges in the foreground

People find God in different place, for example, within themselves or in nature and although I agree God is everywhere and people will feel nourished by different environments, God has designed us to be in community and for me, church is not about some old (or new) building, it’s about a community of people, a loving, accepting community of people.

Unfortunately, there are groups of people who call themselves Christians who are judgmental and expect people to conform to a set of rules in order to be accepted into a church but this is not what Christianity is about. My church is a safe and supportive environment where my relationships with Jesus Christ can grow.

So, if you’ve made it to the end of the blog…

If you’ve been hurt by people acting “in the name of religion”, I’m really sorry. Please remember humans get it wrong. The God I know is not judgmental, he is infinitely gracious and longs to have a relationship with you.

If you’re “meh” about religion, might it be worth giving it a go? What have you got to lose?!

St Mark’s Church, Kempshott. Photo from the air, church covered in snow.

What is church? A matter of perspective

Having had a massive dump of snow in Basingstoke we recently experienced seeing the world in a different light. My husband, Steve Coleman-Williams, took some beautiful photos of our church from the air with a drone (see feature images) and it got me thinking about how different people see the church (both the building and the people).

Picturesque church in sunlight“A pretty building for my wedding”

The Church of England owns some beautiful grade 1 listed buildings and for a fee they can provide a lovely back drop for the wedding photographs. Of course, the buildings costs a lot to upkeep, this falls to the regular worshipers and you’ll often see them holding fundraisers to ensure the buildings remain as stipulated by Historic England. Contrary to what some people think, the Church of England is not rich – we rely on donations to survive and it’s a huge responsibility to keep the buildings maintained.

“An institution for my funeral”

I recently heard an member of a congregation say they didn’t mind what happened to the church after they died, as long as it was around long enough for their funeral. I find this incredibly sad because if everyone thought like this the church will die. Fortunately, not many people think like this and statistics show that the church (the people, that is) is growing. For example see some stats for the Church of England here.

“Irrelevant”

“Perhaps people used to need the church but it’s old fashioned and hasn’t really moved with the times.” Unfortunately, this is the impression lots of people have about the church. They do not see how singing hymns and reciting prayers together has any relavence to their life. My experience of church is that is more than the habitual attendance; being a Christian is a way of life and attending church with my friends is part of what makes me me.

“Judgmental and holier than thou”

“Christians live by this rule book, they look down on people who don’t share their views”. Yes, we are guided by the Bible, it is full of messages from God about how we should live and ways we should behave. Many of the “rules” people talk about are taken out of context. When the Bible is read and understood, we see that God speaks to people within the context of the culture in which they live. Although we still use the Bible today, God speaks to us in other ways too. I have heard messages from God through other people and through the simple facts of certain doors opening and others closing.

Some people focus on controversial topics and say the Bible doesn’t stand up as a relavent today. Arch Bishop Justin Welby advises Christians to “read the Bible carefully…see how Jesus treated those who thought themselves holy and those who thought themselves sinners”. The Christians I know are well aware that they are sinners, we know we are to seek God’s forgiveness every day.

I think being judgmental is one of the ugliest characteristics a human being can express, I live in fear of being judged. No one can truly know what someone else has been through so how can we pass judgment on the way they behave, the way or how they talk, the things they do or the beliefs they hold? It simply is not my place.

People holding hands, praying together“A community where I can be myself”

To me, although I love the old, traditional buildings with the history, knowing that generations of people have worshipped the same God on the same spot for hundreds of year is important – what is more important is that the church is alive today, the church is the people, a community of people who care for one another like a family.

At work I have to be professional, in most social settings there are expectations to behave a certain way but when with church friends I am just me. Through times of illness, the habit of going to church on a Sunday stayed with me – I didn’t always talk to anyone, I just went, sat at the back and came away – this was what I needed, some stability. When I’ve wanted more support, the church family have been there for me every time. Whether it’s during/after a Sunday service, sitting with me while I cry my way through a cup-a-soup or visiting me in hospital – it’s a community like no other. I Don’t feel judged within the church, I feel accepted and loved.

“A place to nourish my spiritual health”

If doctors, nurses, physios, psychologists etc look after our physical and mental health, it’s the church that looks after my spiritual health. I am fortunately that although my mental and physical health have taken hits, although I’ve had doubts in my faith, my spiritual health has been the part of me that has remained relatively healthy. To people who do not value their spiritual health, perhaps this seem a bit untagible. It’s diffciult to put into words but I’ll give it a go! My spiritual health is my inner peace, my inner fire, my moral compass; having Jesus by my side means I am never alone – even if my mind distorts reality and my body malfunctions, there is something inside me I can call on to give me the confidence to keep going.