Tag Archives: coping

How to survive Blue Monday and thrive this year

The 3rd Monday of the year has been found to be “Blue Monday”, the day when people most depressed, uncertain if the future and even hopeless. It may be pseudoscience but I think people are feeling pretty down this year. Some people find themselves in debt after Christmas, struggling towards the next payday, weather in the northern hemisphere is pretty bleak and this year in particularly, the Covid-19 pandemic has been dragging on just a bit!

I just had to respond with a blog about how we can manage this period of the year and learn some coping strategies that will benefit us for the rest of the year!

Person tiring their shoe laces

5 top tips:

  • Move everyday—some form of exercise whether it’s yoga or walk or a HIIT workout, moving your body is awesome for all sorts of reasons. It can be a good distraction, a time to think, or a time for mindfulness. It releases endorphins, the feel good hormone. You can get the whole family involved too!
  • Creativity—whether it’s poetry, pottery or a building a shed, being able to say “I made this” with a sense of accomplishment boosts even the lowest mood. Turning your hand to something new or picking up an old skill taps into a part of the brain that we don’t use everyday. Something we can all do is listen to music, while it’s not building or making anything it taps into an expressive part of the brain and can be incredibly powerful.
  • Writing—it’s been found that even just writing about what you’ve been doing each day can help build memories. For some people, writing can be a way of expressing themselves if they find it difficult to talk about how they’re feeling. If you pick up and pen and don’t know what to write, perhaps start with things you’ve done or things you can see, hear or smell, then try writing some about how you feel, it doesn’t have to make sense initially but you’ll soon get the hang of it!handwriting
  • Talking—this is an incredibly beneficial coping strategy. From talk to your a pet to choosing to take up personal therapy or anything in between. It’s important if you live alone to keep in contact—we’re incredibly fortunate with the range of technology (text, email, various video call options or good old fashioned phone call) these days we just need to use it!
  • Help others—looking after a pet or even a plant can really improve your mood and help your self esteem. Feeling depressed can make all your thoughts turn inward but making yourself look outward can bring a different perspective to your problems. It doesn’t have to be huge but once you start you might feel you want to do more and more!

A few simply dos and don’ts

  • Do express your emotions in a health way—have a good cry if you need to, punch a cushion, scream if it helps, these are all fine. Make sure you can differentiate between healthy and unhealth expressions of emotion.
  • Don’t turn to addictive behaviours—alcohol may be “socially acceptable” and may “feel nice” but it’s just a way of numbing your feelings and it’s ultimately helpful. Equally, turning to food or anything else you know is your usual coping habit is a way of pushing away your feelings. A more healthy way of coping is to find ways of being able to manage your feelings in the moment such as breathing techniques, talking or writing about them or try mindfulness. (It’s fine to have a drink but just ask yourself if you’re drinking to escape stress/feelings etc?)woman holding a glass of wine
  • Do limit time spent reading/watching news about Covid-19—make sure you know the pertinent information but beyond that don’t get sucked into the unhealthy political mud slinging that the media seem to enjoy.
  • Don’t compare your life to other people’s! You don’t see what goes on behind closed doors. Don’t endlessly scroll through social media, limit your time on social media if you can. Remember that what other people post is a highly edited version of their life and doesn’t reflect their reality. Try to only follow people or pages that bring you happiness (hide, mute or unfollow everything else—it really is that simple!).
  • Do remember you’re mental, physical and spiritual health are all linked, if you don’t look after one, the others will suffer. Doing something physical, like going for a walk or having a bath will do just as good for your mental health as it will for your physical health. If you didn’t think you had a faith but this pandemic has got you asking questions like “why would God do such a cruel thing?” perhaps it’s time to find an Alpha or Puzzling Questions course (or similar) and ask these questions. It’s ok to get angry at God, he can take it. Ask someone you know goes to church or contact your local church (or other faith community) online, they’re all doing far more online than they used to!

If you think your low mood is more than feeling a bit blue and these tips are not going to be enough, please seek professional support. It’s important to get support early.

We should think before “returning to normal”

While I understand some people’s lives have not changed as the government has imposed lockdown, quarantine or social distancing measures because you continue to work on the frontline, many people have been afforded time and space to reflect on a pre and post covid-19 life and I have to say, I’ll be making some careful choices before rushing back to “life as usual” once the lockdown rules art lifted.

Some people’s lives changed over night while others have seen more gradual changes as employers have had to make difficult decisions each week as their income decreased over time; to be furloughed has become common parlance. Some are glad of the rest and try to see the silver lining while others struggle to makes ends meet and don’t know when, how or if things will ever get better. We’ve discovered children don’t need to be examined for them to continue into the next school year and actually, when it comes to it, being happy and healthy is more important than up-to-date book learning.

I’ve needed my GP more in the last month than I have done in the last year. Appointments have been available because, here in the UK, people who don’t need to see a doctor, are heeding the advice to protect the NHS. Surely, when this crisis is over, we should continue protecting the NHS? Why, pre-covid-19 were there people in A&E who didn’t need to be there? Don’t get me wrong, people who are having symptoms of life threatening emergencies, really should call for an ambulance.

I’m more connected to the people who matter in my life than I have been before. I’m not seeing them face-to-face and I want that to change but I’m connecting with some people on a daily (or near daily) basis and I like that.

People’s shopping habits give us food for thought… the initial panic caused by the unknown, when will the next trip be? And will the shelves be stocked next time? Were these actions selfish, greedy or anxiety driven?

Most people are now sharing positive changes in their shopping habits. A reduction in multi-trip shopping because people are reducing waste by using up left overs and making do with what’s in the house. People are finding locally sourced produce such as eggs and meat and having online groceries such as fruit, veg and store cupboard essentials delivered directly to their doors reducing travel. Shopping trips that are happening are less fraught because fewer people are permitted inside the shop at any one time, we’re standing back and giving each other space – surely this should have always been the case?

As soon as people realised they had more time they looked for ways they could help one another. Being community spirited should continue. Why did is take a global pandemic for me to get my neighbour’s as phone number? How come my neighbours didn’t know I played the saxophone until I played in the street as part of the Clap for the NHS on Thursdays? Why did it take such drastic measures for us to start to get to know one another?

I’ve discovered daily yoga, fresh air and being assertiveness are actually good for me. Previously I just thought they might be, since being given time and head space to actually try them, I’ve discovered it’s true! We’re all different, what’s now in your new daily routine that wasn’t before – why would you let that slip just because you wanted to “get back to normal”?

How many of us blindly accepted our daily commute but have miraculously found that it’s not actually necessary? Perhaps remote working has its draw backs but many people have found ways to make it work. A reduction in travel has reduced pollution to levels no one could have imagined. Our planet is breathing a sigh of relief.

Has there been another point in history when we’ve had daily press briefings and held the UK government to account every single day? They’re making the science accessible, answering our questions and they’re being clear about the guidance and why it’s in place.

It’s gutting that it’s taken a deadly virus to do it but mental-wellbeing is being spoken about everyday. It’s not ok that the suicide rate is increasing and no amount of money is going to resource the mental health services sufficiently but let’s keep raising the profile of mental well-being and keep checking on each other. Let’s make it a normal conversation. When you train in CPR, make mental health first aid a priority as well – it always should have been.

Are you longing for your “old life” through rose tinted spectacles? Perhaps you’re miss seeing people face to face, at the moment you’re being told “no” and that naturally makes you want to rebel but don’t make the mistake of thinking everything about “the good old days” was better…

On the 23rd March in the UK and on other dates across the world, we were forced to adopt a new normal by governments announcing lockdown measures to keep us safe. As the measures are gradually lifted, we can choose to adopt a newer, brighter normal as we bring together the best of both the old and the new.

We can choose to hug people when we see them but also stay connected in between. We can choose to shop efficiently, not give into greed, continue to source local produce and ask our neighbours if we can shop for them when we’re going. Where we need to go back to previous ways of living, can we find compromise?

Who would have thought about broadcasting weekly church services on YouTube? Faith communities are reaching beyond their building walls like never before and although returning to gathered fellowship will be cause for massive celebration let’s not lose what we’ve gained from being forced to church technologically. How can we have the best from both worlds?!

For many, there’ll be financial consequences for years to come. There are many who have no choice, they can’t go back to life pre-Covid-19 due to bereavement, redundancy or other life event. Are there choices we can make as we find our new normal that will benefit anyone less fortunate than ourselves?

If everything about your old life suits you better and that’s what you want to return to and you can, that’s your call but I just ask that you make an active decision and don’t just go back to it mindlessly without thinking carefully about the true implications.