Tag Archives: psychotherapy

female video call

How to find the right counsellor for you

I’m currently training to be a counselling. As someone who’s also experienced “lying on the therapists couch” I thought I’d put some thoughts together for people who might be looking for a counsellor or therapist in these difficult times.

If you were looking for a doctor, you would make sure they were registered with the General Medical Council. Therefore you should make sure that your therapist/counsellor is a member of an organisation such as: BACP, UKCP or NCS* (or equivalent in other countries). The counselling/therapy profession isn’t currently fully regulated (that means anyone can call themselves a counsellor and isn’t breaking the law)…but by making sure that they’re a member of an organisation such as these, you’ll be getting a professional who:

  • Has achieved a substantial level of training (at least diploma level having undertaken 100 hours supervised placement hours etc)
  • Frequently undertakes continuous professional development
  • Adheres to a specific code of ethics (which can be found on each website)

You may wish to use a directory such as Counselling Directory to search for a verified, accredited counsellor/therapist. We have been incredibly fortunate that counselling has become more accessible recently, it’s now available online or on the phone, although there may be pros and cons, see this recent blog. There are specific platforms where this is all that’s offered so that it’s available across the world (e.g. Better Help and My Online Therapy). However, location may be a priority, should you wish to return to face-to-face counselling at some point. When browsing profiles a few red flags to beware of:

  • A counsellor who claims they deal with too many areas—some very experienced counsellors may have expertise in a number of areas but watch out for inexperienced counsellor’s who’re just trying to look more attractive.
  • Offering too many therapies—integrative is a type of therapy that is a specific way of blending therapies but being a specialist in more than about 4-5 therapeutic interventions means the therapist may not know the therapies in any depth. Also beware of the opposite—very specialist therapies claiming to cure-all are spinning you false hope!

Before you go to meet you counsellor/therapist, try to be clear with yourself what you want. For example, they don’t/shouldn’t diagnose or offer advice, the sorts of things you might achieve involve understanding yourself and why you repeat unhelpful patterns better and developing more helpful ways of coping with life’s ups and downs. It’s not up to them to decide what you need. During the introductory session, it’s important to find out if what you want and what they offer align.

Once you meet a therapist, you may think that feeling a sense of connection is the most important thing; while you’re not wrong there are some other important points to consider:

  • Do you trust them to keep the boundaries? These are the framework on which everything else hangs—they help you maintain trust and they’re where the work begins! For example, if the sessions always run over time, do you trust them to maintain confidentiality?
  • Will you be able to form a working alliance with this person? This is the relationship that exists between the counsellor and client that means they are able to work together in a judgment free zone towards shared goals. Do you understand how they work and will this help you?
  • Will this person challenge you? If you feel too comfortable with this person, if they’re too similar to you, it can be difficult to push yourself outside your comfort zone and make the changes that are needed.
  • Have you been able to ask all the questions you have? Do you know how much it’s going to cost? Are you signing up for a specific number of session or is it open ended? How will you be reviewing you progress?

Obviously you don’t want things to go wrong but if at any point you’re uncomfortable or wonder if they’ve behaved unethically, have they told you what to do? (Speak to them initially, then contact their membership body.)

Counselling/therapy can be hard but fantastically rewarding.

A life unexamined is not worth living—Socrates
  • *BACP = British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapists
  • UKCP = UK Council for Psychotherapy
  • NCS = National Counselling Society

My journey through therapy

Over the past few weeks I've been publishing blogs about different types of therapy. I've been very fortunately that the NHS offered me such fantastic opportunities, each therapy helped me understand something new and helped me grow and develop. Every therapy has its pros and cons. If you want therapy on the NHS, depending on the set up in your area, you will need to be referred, either by you GP or via a psychiatrist.

Follow the links to find out more:

Let me know your experiences.

It's all in the mind

brain
If told you have a condition that manifests in the mind, why do some people take this to mean “you’re making it up/putting it on” or “it doesn’t exist”? And why do they then extend this to mean “you’re malingering deliberately”, “stop pretending” and “there is no pill, you’ll have to just get over it.”
I’ve just watched a video of a lady “fighting for answers” to a syndrome causing a range of distressing symptoms from limb weakness to a change in her speech. She has had numerous tests, scans etc and many doctors have concluded that the origin is psychological. But she’s dissatisfied with this answer, determined there’s something “physical going on”.  She said she just wants to get on with her life so I’m wondering why she is spending so much time going from specialist to specialist? They are all giving her the same answer, yet in not accepting the psychological origin, she’s denying herself access to the treatment that could enable her to manage her condition? Why is she (and so many other people) adamant a diagnosis of a psychological condition is dismissing her (their) symptoms in some way?
I find it astonishing that people do not seem aware the brain is the most powerful organ in the body but we know least about it. It is not surprising that it can produce the most bizarre symptoms but we do not yet have the ability to pin point how the brain is producing these symptoms.
If the brain controls our breathing, it follows that things can go wrong with our breathing that are not detectable on x-ray. If our brain controls our digestion and how our intestines moves, it follows that things go wrong with our gut that is not detectable by scans or scopes. I’m left pondering the conscious and unconscious control we have over various aspects of our body. Perhaps when our brain just does something on it’s own, without our say so, this can leave us feeling helpless.
It probably doesn’t help that many psychosomatic conditions (psychological origin for physical symptoms) are a diagnosis of exclusion – i.e. “if we rule everything else out, it’s probably that.”. Are people left feeling the end condition is less valid? If we cannot measure a chemical or see something on a scan, does that mean the legitimacy of the condition is brought into question? This should not be the case. Just because it cannot be detected and the doctors say this, they are not saying it’s not real! Perhaps some people hear the doctor saying “we cannot prove that you are ill”. But, I say, if it is experienced, it is real!
Psychological therapies are not a way of pretending everything is ok, ignoring symptoms or proving the symptoms don’t really exist. We can explore ourselves, our mind and body and find ways of coping, managing and possibly recovering from any range of issues/symptoms/disorders.
Are people afraid of the stigma that comes with psychological conditions? I fear the denial (such as that of the lady I saw in the video) perpetuates that stigma.
I speculate that if we had more compassion and understanding for psychological conditions, a diagnosis of this type would be a hopeful one and people would instead think “my mind is unwell, I need to get help to take care of it and I will be able to control or manage my condition better“. Is our reluctance to take care of our minds because it (managing our thoughts, emotions and behaviours) is harder than popping a pill? Perhaps it would be more helpful if we treated the mind and the body as one, no matter what the condition? Therefore psychological and physical treatments could always go hand in hand (not considering one as more or less important than the other).
[polldaddy poll=9431517]