How are you, really?

This week (18th May) is Mental Health Awareness Week 2020.

Let’s be honest, 2020 is not going how any of us thought it would! Some of our lives have changed beyond recognition, we had little warning and few of us had much influence over the changes!

How do you really feel about it all?

I have an extensive mental health history of severe depression and anorexia; recently I had anxiety and stress added to this list (stress isn’t a diagnosis but inability to manage it has a profound impact on ones health). I take medication and have had therapy to get me to a good, healthy place but I’ll always have a vulnerability to becoming ill if a number of factors aren’t controlled.

I’ve written various blogs in the past about how to maintain mental well-being. I’ve discussed the importance of being honest and how talking about feelings makes them less scary and more manageable.

As a society, we use the phrase “how’re you?” or “are you alright?” as a salutation and don’t really want the other person to go into detail, however, it’s at times like this (when the world is uncertain), when asking how each other are is of vital importance.

When I say “how’re you?” I always mean it and will always set aside time for the other person if they need to open up.

Unfortunately I have not always had the same afforded to me… I continue to struggle to open up, but knowing how important it is, I try to, then when the other person doesn’t respond or invalidates my feelings, I’m crushed. But when someone does really listen, it means the world to me.

Right now, you might be loving lockdown because you’re being permitted to stay inside and do what you want when you want. On the other hand you might be feeling angry, depressed, anxious or guilty because there’s so much out of your control and you’re being stopped from doing the things you want and need to do.

All feelings are valid and need to be expressed.

A silver lining to come out of this pandemic is the mental health is now on the agenda every day. The year, mental health awareness week is about kindness. Asking how someone is, meaning it and really listening to the answer is the simplest kindness you can offer and what’s great about it is you can do it on the phone, by text, by video chat or in person, socially distanced!

You don’t need a mental health diagnosis to look after your mental health. By being more open about how we’re feeling, it’s a good step towards being able to talk about more issues around mental illness.

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